Joint Custody
by Cheru-chu
Summary: "Arrangement?" "Yes, an arrangement," I looked at the green haired boy from behind my hands, "W-we could share him. H-he could spend time with you and time with me." He blinked, "Or I could just kill you." A one-shot about an unfortunate girl and how she eventually bribes our favorite green-haired Gehenna prince into sharing Behemoth.


This is an Amaimon based (sort of Behemoth based *Yes Behemoth dies in the show but I'm choosing to ignore that fact because I have a license to creativity*) one-shot that I literally thought of while working. I actually really like the idea behind this. Although, I'm not entirely sure you guys are going to appreciate the ending so I'll just apologize for that ahead of time. Also, I want so badly to put my chari's surname first followed by her 'first' name (so to speak) in accordance with Japanese culture, but…I was worried you guys wouldn't follow that very well. So instead I'm westernizing her name and writing it as we would. Okay enough rambling! (I wasted so much of my life writing these pointless points that aren't really as pointless as I think they are and yet still pale in comparison to the point made by Amaimon's hair.) P.S. I tried my best to keep the characters in character, but it's hard to do it (I'll admit) so go ahead and call me on it in places where I failed miserably but do so with the mind of helping me improve, not just to say 'hey you screwed up, mwahahahahaha!'

Anyways, I do not own Amaimon or Behemoth or any other character from Blue Exorcist that may or may not randomly appear, just my story and my Character.

"_**He was like her favorite type of candy, she realized, a bit sour at first but all sweetness in the long run. Admittedly . . . that tartness was part of the allure all along."  
― Victoria Kahler, **__**Their Friend **__**Scarlet**_

**Joint Custody**

It was a day just like any other day; the sun was smiling down on me, except on those rare occasions when a cloud would momentarily hide it's face. The sidewalks were as busy as always; cars sped by during green lights and even sometimes during red, and Kotori Ueda, otherwise referenced as me, was running late. It really was a day just like any other.

For whatever reason, it never mattered how early I may leave point 'A' I will undoubtedly fail to reach point 'B' at any designated time. I still don't know why. It wasn't as if my sense of direction was so horrendous I'd get lost taking the same route I took every day. Although, considering I had absolutely no idea where I was, that was a debatable fact. However, this was undeniably _not_ the same path I took yesterday and the path I took yesterday was not the same path I took the day before. You see, following the same route would be a very simple matter even for me, _if_ I had every actually learned the trail to begin with. However, my mind tends to wander and because of this I've never paid much attention to wherever it was my feet had the compulsion to take me. They apparently had minds of their own.

And they apparently did not have the concept of taking me to work present in the workings of their little minds.

I furrowed my brows in slight annoyance but mainly in apprehension. The owner of the shop was a family friend who understood my awful curse quite well and was generally well accepting of my lack of punctuality in the fact that I won't lose my job. However, my ear was already aching in preparation for the earful I'd be hearing once I got there nonetheless.

As a sort of nervous habit I chewed vigorously both on my lips and my inner cheek. Then I proceeded to eye a little Ping-Pong-ball sized, round-eyed, black creature with a demonic tail that had rested itself on my shoulder. Sighing I brushed it off and watched it float away. Those little guys were everywhere and while I found them to be quite cute in a weird way, they were also a little annoying from time to time. Especially since no one else seemed to see them.

Anyways, how fortunate, a landmark I actually recognized! If I turned left here and proceeded down the street I would finally be at the candy shop, albeit a little, okay a lot late. I did just that and to no one's surprise my boss was standing before the shop entrance tapping her toes and crossing her arms. Needless to say, she was less than pleased with the timing of my arrival.

"Ms. Ueda, are you aware of the time?" I had barely reached the entrance and already she was baring her fangs.

"Maybe."

I jumped when my employer's face reddened and she nearly blew steam, I then withheld a giggle that threatened to escape my mouth when I pictured her head as being a crimson teapot with big brown eyes. Probably not the best thing to be doing in this scenario since if she caught me laughing at her she'd probably put me through an even worse version of hell than the one she already had prepared for me. "Maybe?! Young lady, I have repeated time and time again, that you **must** be present in the shop right at five thirty. It's six twenty. You're nearly an hour late. If this was any other shop you would be _**fired!...**_"

While she did continue to lecture me her words slowly faded away as my attention was drawn to the little black circular demons again. A couple of them had descended down onto the older woman's greying head and crowned her. As she spoke her head moved up and down just enough to make the little guys bounce a bit. It was both the cutest and funniest thing I had seen today; it was unfortunate no one else could see it, especially since they did make me laugh and I had no explicable excuse as to why. Thus I descended into an even deeper pit of hell. Whoopee.

"Kotori…" her voice lowered dangerously causing my attention to snap back to her and I raised my hands defensively; she used my first name…I was so going to die. "What exactly do you find so funny."

"…nothing." I failed to hold back a snicker as a few more invisible black demons joined the others and expanded the crown. The result was a solid smack to the side of the head, followed by the sensation of being dragged by the collar into the candy shop.

"**Just get to work before I do something we'll both regret**!"

I flinched before running to the back to get a frilly apron and yelling, "Yes ma'am!" I tied the back of the apron before heading to the front of the shop and starting to reorganize the candy and helping the mass amount of kids that came running in. And by help I mean keeping them from eating the candy without paying for it.

Ah the hardships of working in a candy shop.

* * *

Six Hours Later

"_**I'm an idealist. I don't know which way I'm going, but I'm on my way."**_

_**~Carl Sandburg.**_

* * *

I got off work fifty minutes ago at about eleven thirty. It was twelve twenty now and I still wasn't home. Just for your benefit, I am going to take the time now to emphasize the fact that I really don't have a bad sense of direction; everything just always looks so different in the dark so I don't really know where I exactly I'm going. Sighing, I pushed back my vivid cobalt curls that concealed my shoulders and glanced down at the free bag of candy I got at the end of my shift. I _really _wanted to eat it but if I tried to do so while lost I'd never figure out where my house was. (Not that I don't know…of course I know where my house is, I'm just not entirely sure where _I _am.)

Slumping my shoulders I closed my eyes and sighed. My feet were hurting from standing around at work and walking around afterwards. As cute as my little slippers were they were not made for walking. Eyeing a nearby park bench I quickly decided that I was going to go sit there. Which I then did in a rather unceremonious fashion considering I basically threw myself on it. Treating it more like a bed then a park bench, I laid down on my back and let my head hang over the edge so that I got a rather upside down view of the world.

At this point I was perfectly content with being a homeless hobo and wouldn't have minded falling asleep right then and there. I even closed my eyes in preparation. Perhaps it was by a stroke of good fortune or (more than likely) was just another curse, but a little animalistic whimper got my attention instead.

Frowning I opened my eyes and looked around in an attempt to pinpoint the source of the noise. At first I didn't see it, probably because I was looking at it in such an awkward fashion, but when I did see the creature I wasn't entirely sure if I should scream and run or help it.

I decided on a compromise, which consisted of screaming and hiding behind the park bench while I deliberated helping it.

Of course, for any of this to make sense to anyone I'll have to explain what exactly 'it' is. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure but it sounded like a hobgoblin, it walked sort of like a hobgoblin, and it looked an awful lot like a hobgoblin so my professional opinion is that it is, in fact, a hobgoblin. More specifically, an injured bleeding hobgoblin that was wearing a harness on its head with a leash attached to it.

It looked at me with a very pitiful face, and yet it still made me snicker. He was a rather cute hobgoblin much in the same way stupid, ugly dogs were adorable _because_ they were stupid and ugly. His eyes were teary and tired and he was whimpering which pulled on my heartstrings. However, his tongue was hanging out of his toothy mouth as well and he was lying upside down, which made him look quite funny.

Anyways, I stared at him wide-eyed for a little bit, but slowly as I watched him lie there writhing in obvious pain my face darkened with pity. Emerging from behind the bench I started approaching the injured goblin. Slowly, I didn't want to scare it since it looked like it would hurt if it bit me.

As I approached, it quieted down and narrowed its eyes at me. Then, as I continued my advance, it growled at me. I recoiled a little before scowling at the brute. I had had enough of stubborn kids for the day; I didn't plan on putting up with a stubborn hobgoblin too. Especially not when I was trying to help the stupid, yet adorable, thing. (Honestly, even I am aware that my tastes are a little on the weird side since no one else, if they could see it, would probably find this fiend cute.)

"Now you listen here," I started what was sure to be a senseless tirade that this little guy probably wouldn't understand (which would be what made the rant senseless in the first place), "I have, out of the very kindness of my heart, chosen to take time out of my schedule to stop and help you and if you want me to continue to shower you in my heartfelt compassion you'd better keep those teeth of yours to yourself. Got it?"

The response I received was not at all surprising. The goblin growled at me, again. I squeaked a little and took a step backwards, "okay so you don't got it…that or you really don't want my help." I was ready to turn and leave the creature to his despair when I noticed him eyeing my bag of candy with unmitigated curiosity. At least I think that's what he was ogling seeing as how his eyes followed its every movement. I glanced at the bag and then at the beast, a single eyebrow raised and a mischievous smirk adorning my face. "You don't like candy do you?"

The creature's face lit up the moment the word candy left my mouth which meant that was more than likely a word he _did_ understand. "_Candy_." I repeated, again his entire demeanor glowed with expectation and joy. It was really quite endearing to watch his mood swing back and forth and I couldn't stop an obstinate smile from appearing on my face.

Reaching into my bag I grabbed a piece of chocolate and unwrapped it. The entire time I was watching the goblin's mouth water and its tail thumped against the ground excitedly. If its foot wasn't injured I was quite certain he would have jumped me, which made me deeply obliged to the creatures corporal constraint since I am fairly confident I would not escape such an exchange unscathed.

Having finished unwrapping the candy bar I held it in front of my nose and dramatically sniffed it, "mmmm…_candy!_" In response to my action, the hobgoblin's tail started swinging back and forth with so much force the goblin's body was nearly swinging with it. I giggled in response and slowly began approaching the enthusiastic creature. This time around he did _not_ growl at me but almost seemed to welcome my presence instead.

When the chocolate was close enough the goblin suddenly found the energy to jump up and snatch the chocolate out of my hand with its teeth, nearly taking my hand with it in the process. I visibly paled as I looked at my still in tact hand and sighed in relief. No sooner did he take the treat was it gone and he was staring at me expectantly again. I, in turn, stared at him then raised an eyebrow, "if you behave and hold still I'll give you another piece, okay?"

I don't know if he was nodding his head in understanding or still enthusiastic about the candy but I assumed the earlier thought and reached out to touch his injured leg.

I wish I hadn't.

I really do.

Mainly, this is due to the fact that my assumption was inaccurate.

I know it was inaccurate because just as my hand brushed his injury the goblin bit me. Not gently either he drew blood. A lot of blood, and I reacted in the way that any normal girl would: I screamed bloody murder.

I would have pulled my hand away but it was still in the fiend's mouth so instead I simply gripped my wrist and whimpered pathetically. Looking from under my eyelashes and over my emerging tears, my brilliantly blue eyes pathetically regarded the creature that had latched onto my hand.

Then I turned my gaze to the crimson blood that was starting to slowly ooze from my wound and then trickle down my ivory hand, wrist, and forearm. The blood even threaded itself into my other hand, which I miserably used in an attempt to stop the pain pulsing up my arm in accord with my running blood.

Free flowing tears obscured my face as I glared at the demon. Removing my free hand from its place on my arm, I grabbed the harness around the fiend's head. Then pulling it towards my own face I head butted it as hard as I could. Yelping, it released my hand and we both fell to our backs releasing heartbreaking howls in harmony. It would have been quite comical for any onlooker that could see both of us, as well as for anyone who could only see me (of course, that is more the comedy of seeing a crazy person act out their delusions and hallucinations in public as opposed to watching two creatures mirror each other).

Never before have I been so happy to be the only one in an eerie and somewhat hoary park after dusk.

After that rather embarrassing display of pain I sat up, whilst holding my injured hand close to me, and scowled at the offender before me. Just as I opened my mouth to chastise the goblin the sound of what seemed to be animalistic snickers kissed my ears. Gradually my scowl receded into a dumb stare. This little creature was most assuredly laughing at me, and it would seem that the merriment was contagious because I quickly found it nearly impossible to keep my own chortles from leaving my lips.

We laughed together, and while it may have been an inappropriate time to be laughing, I couldn't deny the humor in our actions until now. Beginning with my being lost _again_ all the way to this point, it was all quite silly and laughing about it was a much better option than stressing about it. (For reminding me of that, I should really thank this ridiculous hobgoblin but I probably won't since he did bite me.)

Eventually I managed to calm down enough to wipe my tearstained face. As my hands glided across my face, however, I quickly realized a trail of blood followed making me appear much worse than I did originally. I tried again to clean my face but instead attempted it with my shoulder rather than my hand and arms; regrettably, it was not effective and I merely ended up with blood on my shoulder as well.

"_Outstanding._" Sarcasm dripped from every syllable that rolled off my tongue. Then turning to look at the goblin I pointed to the mess, which was me, and continued, "This is your fault you know." The goblin stared at me for a moment before slowly limping towards me.

Obviously I flinched away from the approach; after all it wouldn't surprise me if he planned on biting my other arm. To my surprise though, he didn't, rather he took one look at the hand he bit and then lightly licked it before moving to my face and proceeding to lick that clean.

Of course, I didn't just sit there and let him do it rather I tried desperately to move my face out of the way whilst asking the creature to stop. I was both ignored and over powered. Thinking on a positive note, at least this meant he liked me.

Probably liked me.

I _hope_ this meant he liked me, otherwise it meant he liked the way I tasted and I certainly don't want that.

Although considering I do work in a candy shop and could be covered in sugar, that could very well be the case. As the thought crossed my mind I froze in both shock and consideration before eying the goblin apprehensively. All the while he licked my face, shoulder, both arms, and both hands, seemingly without noticing that I had gone still. Fortunately, after a couple of minutes he came to a halt and sat back a somewhat crazed, yet still delightful, smile on his face.

Thank goodness, this probably meant he did _not _find me snack worthy. I looked myself over and yes he had gotten up all the blood (excluding the blood still flowing from my injured hand), however, I was now covered in goblin slobber. My gaze moved back to the goblin that was still seated with the same stupid, innocent smile on his face and I sighed then grinned back. "Thanks."

At least he tried to make up for his transgression, sort of. I'm not entirely convinced that he specifically thought the action through to that extent, but I'm perfectly satisfied with giving him credit for doing so nonetheless.

Of course, the fact that I was in serious need of a shower now did not change due to that. Also, the fact that I was in serious need of a bandage for both the goblin and I did not change either. I had plenty at my house considering I wasn't the most graceful person on the planet and was prone to injury, but my home was currently out of my reach.

On another note, I should seriously consider investing in a handheld gps. Not that I'm admitting to having a poor sense of direction, because I'm not. I am simply admitting it would be…more efficient.

No matter, at this point I _had_ to get home and I was going to take this little goblin with me whether he wanted to come or not. Although if he didn't want to come I don't really think I could force him, but I'll try to drag him with me nonetheless.

Eyeing the leash then the creature I gradually stood up. The goblin cocked his head and the grin left his face. When I was finally standing on my own two legs I saw the beast move towards me with a lightning quick movement. Before I realized what was happening I felt an extraordinary burden on my left foot that kept me from going anywhere and when I looked down I saw the goblin embracing it in an attempt to keep me from going anywhere.

The corners of my mouth turned upwards, and a small hum left my sealed lips. This guy was so cute but incredibly heavy. Leaning down my uninjured hand wrapped around his leash and immediately the creature's tail started to vibrate with elation. Glancing down at his harness I looked for a name-tag of sorts; he looked like he was someone's pet, although I wasn't entirely sure what type of person kept a demon as a pet (except for me considering I was taking him home). I found a little engraving that read, "Behemoth?"

The creature's ears perked and he growled somewhat affectionately. With a nod of approval I continued to speak, "It suits you. Now, Behemoth, could you let go of my leg now?" Lightly I pulled my leg from his grip and, with the leash still in hand, I slowly began to walk in the direction I thought my apartment was in. I momentarily felt the leash go taught, but only for a moment as Behemoth started to limp after me, a stupid grin to match my own was on his face the entire time.

* * *

Frankly, I don't believe it is important to state the time at which I finally found my apartment. We'll just say it was late, I was tired and leave it at that. Both Behemoth and I practically fell on the floor in front of my front door the second I locked it. It wasn't entirely due to the time or the blisters on my feet either, but it was also because I was feeling quite light headed due to the bite on my arm.

When it happened originally, I don't believe I was really aware of how deep the bite was, but fortunately, though it was deep enough to make me a little faint I still don't think it was bad to the extent of leaving a noticeable scar, maybe a little one.

My head cleared after a moments rest and I found myself standing and making my way towards the bathroom where I kept the first aid kit. I stumbled in the darkness only once before I smartly flipped a light switch. My lonely apartment was illuminated instantaneously and I sighed slightly. Technically I didn't live alone and yet I did. My father was a pilot and my mother was a flight attendant, which meant that when they worked they were gone for days, sometimes weeks at a time.

It offered me a lot of freedom, but since pets were not actually allowed in our apartment, it also meant I was very much alone. Which also had me wondering whether or not it was all right for Behemoth to be here. I turned my head and glanced back at the beast. Well, it wasn't like anyone else could see him and what the landowner didn't know couldn't hurt him.

Reaching the bathroom I opened the medicine cabinet and found the first aid kit. I then proceeded to wash the blood and slobber off my hand. Once that was completed I took some disinfectant and applied it to the injury, I squealed through bit lips as I did so because it burned so badly but I persisted nonetheless. In an attempt to ward off any scars I lathered on the Neosporin before wrapping my hand in a bandage (which was easier said than done with only one hand).

Having completed my self-care, I grabbed the kit and a wet washcloth and walked back out to the front door. However, I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized that Behemoth was not there. "Huh? Where'd he get off to?"

My question was answered by the sound of dishes clattering in the direction of my kitchen. Running off I found Behemoth digging through my cabinets. "Hungry?" At the sound of my voice the goblin turned to look at me blankly before a big toothy grin adorned his face and he ungracefully leaped towards me, knocking a few things off my counters in the process.

I giggled anxiously as he shoved me to the floor and nearly knocked me out, at the rate Behemoth was going, he was going to wake the neighbors and give me brain damage. Not to mention he was heavy and still on me. "Okay, okay! I'll feed you just get off me and let me bandage your arm." I was beginning to think that, despite his stupid façade, Behemoth was quite intelligent because no sooner did the words leave my mouth did he crawl off me and sit calmly at my side, waiting with his typical grin on his face.

I sat up and turned to face him, taking the washcloth I gently wiped off Behemoth's arm. He was calm for the moment and barely minded me. However, as I was reaching for the disinfectant I prepared for the worse. Semi-wild animals never handle pain well after all, and he had already bit me once.

Needless to say, I was right to worry. I no sooner tapped his injury that he let loose a crazed howl and raced around the room in a desperate attempt to escape from me.

I sighed as I stood up in preparation to chase down the goblin; this was going to be a really long night.

* * *

Two Weeks Later

"_**Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to."  
~Alfred A. Montapert**_

* * *

Closing my eyes, I welcomed the feel of the hot water against my skin. I truly love showers after a long day at work and chasing Behemoth around town. I couldn't say I minded, however. Ever since he started making me chase him my commutes have been reduced to being a mere thirty minutes. To be honest, I had no idea I could even get to work that quickly or on time for that matter.

Today had been an incredible day. I got to see the most curious of people, apparently he shared my regard for uniquely colored hair because this curious person had two-toned, spiked (and I mean one big horn on the top of his head), green hair and was staring rather suspiciously at the candy and me; he obviously wanted the candy and probably thought my cyan colored hair was strange. It was satirical really. You would think two people who insisted on having unusually colored hair would hardly notice when someone else had bizarre colored hair, but alas that was never the case.

In my defense, it wasn't just his hair that was unique; his clothes were pretty flamboyant too, and he did spend a preposterous amount of time staring endearingly at the candy through the window before he glanced at me with a noticeable amount of interest followed by apathy and walked away. Now that I think about it, the look on his face when he gazed at all the sweets kind of reminded me of Behemoth's face when he's doing the same thing.

Despite his strangeness, however, I found him unnaturally attractive. I felt my cheeks flair, and immediately my hand flew to my face; unsuccessfully, I tried to brush the blush off as the result of the hot shower. Man, sometimes I was such a girl.

A crash from my living room made me flinch and brought me out of me girly stupor; I grimaced. What was Behemoth up to now? Sighing, I turned off the shower and grabbed the nearest towel. In my haste, I only wrapped myself in the white cloth before rushing out into the sitting room in search of the assuredly broken object. I looked around the room and cocked my head at the sight before me, or rather the lack there of. Nothing was out of place and there was no Behemoth to be seen.

So I walked into the kitchen. Again, the little hobgoblin was out of sight. Hesitantly, I called out for the little demon, "Behemoth?" No sooner did the word leave my mouth did the towel leave my body and I fell backwards onto my ass due to my pathetic attempt to hold onto it. "BEHEMOTH!" My entire body turned red in embarrassment as I turned to glare at the fiend who had stolen my towel and left me in the nude on the kitchen floor.

I leapt to my feet, and immediately Behemoth ran in the opposite direction towards the living room, towel still in hand. Without much of a thought or care apart from: _I'm gonna kill him! (All in good fun of course)_ I quickly followed him. Our little game lasted three circles around the coffee table and couch before I skidded to a halt in front of the window and paled instantly.

I believe my muddled thoughts came in this order but to be honest they very well could have come at the same time for all I knew.

_There is a boy on my windowsill._

_He is staring at me._

_I am not wearing __**anything.**_

_He is the same boy from the candy store._

_This is the seventh floor._

_How did he get up here anyways?_

Then I shrieked, and he blinked. Still shrieking, I grabbed the nearest handy object, my house phone specifically, and threw it at him with as much force as I could muster while trying desperately to get away. Unfortunately, it did not hit him, but it did hit the window in front of his face so I think he got the message. Just in case he didn't, however, I continued to throw small objects at him. His eyebrows furrowed and he glanced at Behemoth a question obvious in his eyes.

Wait, he could _see_ Behemoth. Doesn't matter. He could _see_ my birthday suit and that came first. Backing up into the bathroom door, I felt around for the knob before pushing it open, retreating into the little restroom, and slamming the door closed. It was only then that I realized I was still screaming bloody murder and stopped. I also realized I was completely out of breath.

I jumped away from the door when I heard a voice, a boy's voice. The green-headed teenager was in my apartment I realized horrified. What did he want? He wasn't some creepy stalker was he? I shook my head in a vain attempt to calm myself down and dressed in the pajamas I brought with me into the bathroom. Fully dressed I cracked the door open and peeked out.

The first thing I noticed was laughter, giddy child like laughter and Behemoth's distinctly monstrous giggles. Huh? The first thing I saw was an unexpected and confusing sight to say the least. Behemoth and the green-haired peeping tom were…cuddling?

It was at that moment that I remembered that Behemoth had come with his name and harness and that meant that Behemoth had an owner before me. Could this boy be him? Not that it would make what just happened okay by any means, but at least I'd know he isn't a stalker.

I stepped out of the bathroom my face still a little red from embarrassment but nonetheless managing a deadly scowl. Before getting the green haired boy's attention, I picked up the empty flower vase that was sitting on an end table and prepared to bring it down on his head. Finally, I spoke, "Who are you!?" Behemoth and the strange boy immediately stopped what they were doing and turned to look at me.

The smile on the boy's face was adorable and I felt my angry resolve falter for a moment, fortunately his face fell into an apathetic stare when he saw me so I was able to harden myself again. His response aggravated me as well, "Who are _you_?" Why did I feel like he was mocking me?

"I asked you first!"

"…so?"

"So you have to answer first!" I raised the vase aggressively over him in an attempt to scare him into answering. His eyes narrowed on me and I recoiled and blinked. Apparently that millisecond during which my eyes were closed was all the time he needed because when my eyes reopened he was gone and so was the vase. "W-what the?"

"This isn't fun." I jumped and turned around to see the boy sitting on my ceiling while holding my vase. Unconsciously, I backed away from the gravity-defying boy and tripped over the coffee table landing unceremoniously on my ass yet again. After analyzing the porcelain container he tossed it aside and let it shatter on the ground. I closed my eyes and cringed when it crashed. I was going to be in so much trouble for that.

He then fell from the ceiling, but much like a cat landed gracefully on his feet in front of me rather than on his head like I was expecting. Afterwards, he leaned over me and stared me down with a still apathetic eye. This went on for a moment but he soon straightened up and turned towards Behemoth, "No fun. Lets go, Behemoth."

I had been sitting silently up until this point. However, I would not be silent anymore because he was **not** taking Behemoth. I stood to my feet just as Behemoth started following the boy to the window (why he doesn't just use the front door is beyond me, but whatever). "Behemoth, _**stay**_!" The goblin slid to a halt and turned to look at me a huge grin on his face. After a moment he sat down on the floor. The boy, who was in the middle of climbing out the window, stopped and stared.

His eyes narrowed on me and just as he turned to look at Behemoth he spoke, "Behemoth, come." The goblin looked at the boy and stood up.

"Behemoth, stay!" At the sound of my command he sat down again.

"Come." He stood.

"Stay!" He sat.

"Co-"

"Stay!" The boy, who was at the window a mere second ago was now standing in front of me and pulling my hair somewhat violently. The shock and pain caused by his sudden appearance and hold caused me to pathetically cry out in agony and caused my arms to fly up and grip his wrist.

"You interrupted me." He looked very unhappy, but despite the pain and the intimidation I steeled my nerves and glared at him.

"Yeah and you're petnapping Behemoth." He blinked at me.

"…pet…napping…?" All right, now he seemed puzzled as he stared at me.

I internally frowned, how did he not know what _petnapping_ was anyways? Wasn't it a pretty self-explanatory, general term? Was he raised under a rock or something (A/N: something like that)? Well no matter, I obviously needed to explain the term to him so I'd better do it now before he finds it necessary to pull my hair out. "Yes petnapping, as in kidnapping a pet," I paused for a moment and then added, "you know…stealing a living thing."

"I'm not stealing Behemoth, he's mine." Ah, so he was Behemoth's original owner. However, he neglected the poor goblin when he was injured and I've been taking care of him ever since and that meant that Behemoth belonged to me now.

Narrowing my eyes I responded, "Not anymore."

"Annoying people should just die." Yeah, annoying people _should_ d-wait, what? My eyes widened into saucers as he raised his free, seemingly clawed hand as if to stab me with it. He's kidding, right? No, I realized he wasn't when his hand came down on me and I slammed my eyes shut.

Suddenly he wasn't gripping my hair anymore and there was a rather loud crash coming from the kitchen followed by a rather loud exclamation that would be better left not repeated. I will, however, repeat what was said after that. "What'd you do that for Behemoth?" He sounded genuinely shocked and even emotionally distraught. Reopening my eyes I saw my angelic hobgoblin standing defensively (and quite apologetically) in front of me, and I saw a rather confused green haired boy sitting up against the damaged bottom of my kitchen counter. My parents were totally going to kill me when they got home.

I mean how exactly was I going to explain this wreckage to them? Oh yeah, my _invisible hobgoblin pet_ got into a _fight_ with a _green-haired_, _clownishly_ _dressed teenage boy_ who managed to break into our _seventh_ floor apartment by climbing in through a _window_.

Yep, that'll go over _real_ well. Please take special note of the sarcasm.

However, I'll deal with that problem when it arises. Until then I still had these two monstrosities to deal with. The green haired boy had not moved from his spot instead choosing to start brooding. It was a pity inducing sight. The poor boy looked as if someone had taken his favorite teddy bear and it made me feel extremely guilty. Swallowing whatever version of pride I possessed, I tiptoed in his direction and stopped just a few baby steps away from him before kneeling down. "Are you alright?"

He stared at Behemoth and I for a short moment before making a rather large show of scowling at me and then turning his face away, "Go away." The degree to which he was acting like a spoiled kid was amusing but also a little annoying. Fortunately I knew how best to deal with children.

I stood up and went straight for my candy cabinet. A cabinet Behemoth obviously recognized due to the way he started running around. Opening it, I retrieved a cherry flavored lollipop and went back to the green-haired boy. "You don't like _candy_ do you?" The boy was on me before the sentence had even left my mouth. Well not literally on me, his face was simply inches from mine with the lollipop being the only thing keeping our noses from touching. Through my blush I managed a giggle, he had the most eager look on his face as he eyed the piece of candy. I stopped giggling, however, when he eyed me with a-less-than-giggle-worthy look.

I blinked and much in the same fashion the vase had been removed from my hands the lollipop had as well. Except this time he was crouched on my kitchen counter rather than sitting on my ceiling. "I'll take that as a yes." He stared at me as he unwrapped the lollipop and popped it in his mouth. His tongue, which was unusually long and sent all sorts of erotic mental images of what he could do with it through my hormonal mind, wrapped itself around the candy and shifted the stick across his lips in a manner that I deemed rather sexy. My eyes widened in response to the scene. Instantaneously, I averted my eyes and felt my cheeks heat up. Honestly, I really needed to do something about my overactive hormones because I could really do without these awful thoughts.

After a second of cooling off I looked back at my kitchen counter and deadpanned. I could most certainly tell that Behemoth and this boy were related in some fashion. Why? Because they are both very skilled at disappearing. I only just met the boy and I could already swear that if I take my eyes off of either of them for more than a second they'd disappear and wreck some other part of my apartment. Anyways, the boy wasn't on my kitchen counter anymore. Actually, he wasn't in my kitchen at all. How he managed to slip by me when I was standing in the doorway I didn't know, but I wasn't going to put too much thought into it.

I turned around to check my living room only to come face to face with the boy's nose. He was on my ceiling again and staring at me. Rather than recoiling, however, I frowned and grabbed his arm. "Get down!" Yanking on his sleeve he fell to the floor, his foot knocked me on the head as he fell and I tumbled forward onto him.

I ended up lying on his chest somewhat dazed from the knock on the head and fall. In my peripheral vision, I saw Behemoth leap around excitedly before dashing towards us. The goblin then proceeded to nuzzle his way between us; quite comfortable with _both_ of us. I felt a pang in my chest.

Behemoth loved this nameless, green-haired boy. Could I really stomach separating them? No I couldn't…damn it! However, I love Behemoth too.

…

…

I guess that just leaves one option. First however, I needed to get off the boy. I sat up, awkwardly trying **not** to straddle him and failing miserably. To make matters even more uncomfortable, he just laid there sucking on his lollipop watching my struggle with an obvious amount of amusement. In the end, I did momentarily straddle him before managing to crawl away from the entire situation.

I sat facing the boy against the nearest wall and brought my knees to my chest. He sat up instantaneously and watched me with curious eyes that unnerved me. However, I still took a calming breath and opened my mouth to speak once again, "Let's start again. My name is Kotori Ueda. I found Behemoth injured in a park, brought him home, and took care of him," I paused, "and you are?"

He stared. He blinked. He sucked on the lollipop. He moved the stick of the lollipop across his lips in that manner that had me dreaming unladylike dreams…again. "Amaimon."

Well. That was about as helpful as…yeah, you fill in the blank. Well, at least he has a name now. I cleared my throat in an attempt to hide an annoyed grumble. I was fairly successful.

I had been hoping for an explanation for _how_ he managed to climb seven stories, move faster than a blink, defy gravity, and…had…pointed ears. Wait, what? I blinked and stared at his ears. Why in the world was he wearing cosplay pointy ears? And they look so real. Slowly, curiously, I crawled towards him and reached out for his ears. He sat up straight, stiffened, and his eyes narrowed as I approached. Sitting on my knees in front of him, I leaned in closer so that my hands could grip his ears.

I rubbed them gently and tugged playfully. My eyes widened, "Holy crap, they're real!" I looked up at his face, which, I realized now, was only a few inches away. My eyes widened in surprise and my face flushed as I retreated back to my spot on the wall. Afterwards, I pointed an accusing finger at Amaimon, "Why are your ears pointed?!"

He rubbed his cheeks, which seemed a little pinker than before, before he returned to normal and responded in a bored tone. "I'm a demon…Behemoth is my familiar and kin."

How was I supposed to respond to that? I couldn't very well deny the existence of demons considering I had been living with one for the past few weeks. Plus, that seemed like a relatively acceptable explanation for all of my questions. Just my luck. My apartment was being wrecked by two demons, one of which was trying to kidnap the other, who also happened to originally be his familiar.

Seriously, what were the chances of this?

"…O-oh." I scratched the back of my head and looked at Behemoth and then back at Amaimon. "Well, I've grown rather attached to Behemoth too and I'm not willing to completely give him up."

The boy raised his hand in order to strike me and I flinched away from him and covered my face, yelling all the while, "BUT!" He halted, "I-I think we could come to an a-a-arrangement."

"Arrangement?"

"Yes, an arrangement," I looked at him from behind my hands, "W-we could share him. H-he could spend time with you and time with me."

He blinked, "Killing you is easier." His hand moved and I cowered behind my hands again.

Instinctually, I screamed the only thing I could think to scream, "I HAVE CANDY!" Surprisingly, his hand stilled and he gave me a curious look that told me to continue with my obvious bribe. "I work at a candy shop and get a free bag of any candy I want after every shift I'll give it to you in exchange for time with Behemoth. I'd get him…every other day…maybe."

There was a pregnant pause. An extended silence. I froze when I felt a hand reach around mine raised ones in order to grip my hair again. This time, however, it was a little less painful and less forceful since I don't think he was angry so much as wanting to talk to me face to face, without obstruction. He stared me down for a short time before he finally spoke with a surprising amount of enthusiasm, "I like cherry lollipops."

"Cherry…lollipops…okay, I can do that."

* * *

~Fin~

"_**Endings to be useful must be inconclusive."  
~ Samuel R. Delany**_


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